Developments / Developments

Okay, so since my last post....Life has been happening. Life has been better and it has had its down moments but not too many Thankfully. Me and Ronnie are officially over. It ended just after my last post and its basically been 4 months now that I am single and on my own. So what did Ally do about this.....she joined a dating site and has be-freinded 2 awsome guys. 2 is enough and un-complicated. They both consume my thoughts and the difficult part is containing my self and keeping a level head. But Ive pulled it together and I need to keep it up. Discipline is what I think they call it. Self control. Havent met iether one of them and I dont think I will for a while still. These 2 guys are seriously Genuine and they are very special in their individual ways.

I feel better however that Ronnie is no longer in my life. I realise now that he was bad poison in a way. I will never however go on about how bad he was because whats done is done and I am slowly moving on. I will however always hold him close to my heart > no matter how badly he hurt me. But as they say....life goes on.

Andrew , Leigh, Daniel and Dad are also now moving to KZN and Andrew flys out on the 2nd Jan. Leigh will join him end of Jan or end of Feb to officially move and live down at the coast. Andrew is been transferred because of work and this is a life time opportunity for him. I wish them all the best however am dissapointed / sad and misreble because I will only have David left.

It has been a good year with work for me but now this news has just dampened my spirits.

Christmas next week will be the last with them in Joburg. However on a positive note Hopefully next year poses new possibilities and Great new beginnings for only success to errupt and spawn.

Thats all for now.

xxxx

what a day

what a day in deed. still training the new receptionist and she has potential but is not as good as I was in my first week - not that Im tooting my own horn. still early days so will need to give her a chance. Had so much to do today at work. stock control on my spread sheets - orders - invoice processing - switchboard messages - programming phones around the office - monthly meter readings - boardroom meetings - etc etc. Im tired and I have to study for my learners licence but Il program that into my schedule on the quiet weekend. .........So the love of my life has got stuff going on at work and I cannot see him at all during the week because he is working from 8h30am to 10h00pm Monday to Sunday. So perhaps Il be lucky to see him once a week over the weekend but this will be going on for quite sometime in the future now which is quite dissapointing. communication between the 2 of us has vurtually come to a stand still because he is apparently so busy training that he cant sms me longer than 2 msgs per day. He says perhaps this is a sign of preparation for when he leaves the country. so I suppose Id better start getting use to it.

Oh Hum........

Something new

Something new has popped up into my life......I have befreinded a person through business at work. The conversations have been quite detailed and personal but yet safe and honest. However he is married. I do not know what he looks like because I have been speaking to him over the phone and he has told me a lot about him self. He is 40yrs old and lived in the UK for 10 years before moving back to SA. He plays instruments and runs about 5 -10km every day. He also does rock climbing every Sunday and has a brilliant taste in music. His favourate is Tom Waits. He tries to avoid talking about his wife but he has told me how they married and how their relationship started. He keeps our freindship very casual and does not cross any boundaries but he has asked that he hopes one day we can have a drink together. He has told me so much and he seems to think I am fascinating. He must be intrigued by me because he keeps initiating conversation and he keeps emailing and phoning me.

I hope this just does' nt turn bad. I just want new freinds.

What consumes me today......

Jealousy consumes me today....I cant shake it.........I am not a jealous person. I dont get jealous easily but today I am just jealous. I am not comfortable with my body and looking at other people I know who have good bodies makes me jealous cause I dont have what they've got. If I had the body I had 5 years ago....I wouldnt have insecurity issues. Id be able to wear a costume comfortably and I could strut a walk with that body that would make men blush. Particulaly the man that Im suppose to love. Because I dont have a skinny body, it doesnt turn him on like a skinny girl would. I dont have that affect on him........

Summer is coming and I cant wear a costume cause I just look horrible. I will be going to a holiday resort for my 30th birthday and there is a pool there. Other girls (my freinds) have been invited and Ive got to figure out how I am going to avoid been shy or jealous cause theres also men who are going to be there. I was excited about my birthday yesterday but today I am just not looking forward to it.

I cant do Gym at work cause I only finish work at 5pm and cant get a lift home after gymming. Not sure how to excersize at home with out professional guidence and so that I dont injure my self and most importantly so that the excersize I am doing is making a difference. I do not over eat and my diet is relatively good. I eat a healthy lunch every day but It just doesnt help.



.........hopefully tomorrow I dont feel as depressed as I do right now....................

What keeps popping up on the back of my mind

While Ive been potting around at home just listening to my mp4 player, thoughts start to pop up in my head about what freinds I have and what will I do when my best freind is no longer around. I dont have many freinds and the 2 freinds that I do have ,(one is always too busy to see me) and the other one is leaving the country soon. My best freind is at work right now and one thing I can say is that he is constantly on my mind. It really worries me about what I am going to do and how lonely I am going to be when he leaves. He relaxes me when I am around him and I feel I could get stranded on an Island with him forever and it would be the best thing ever. I love having alone time with him. He comforts me. I am going to miss our conversations. I am going to miss his freindship. There is no other person like him. and I will NEVER meet anyone like him again. I dont want him to leave and it frightens me to death........