I called Daniel this morning. She was driving but had me on hands free. I began to ask her that when I was diagnosed in 2002 I was literally found in a cupboard. I haven't been found in a cupboard this time but the effects and symptoms feel the same. I began to explain to her that I feel I have broken boundaries and created the impossible where people can hear my thoughts. She gave me encouraging news that perhaps my brain is receiving too much or too little of a specific chemical which alters my perception of reality and almost tells my body what is happening is not really happening. She suggested she would speak to the Psychiatrist to perhaps prescribe a different drug that is going to alter that perception or phobia of mine so that I can work towards my goal of holding down a job. She sounded encouraged that I have aspirations and goals I would like to achieve and at least that is something that would guide me in the right direction.
I just want to be normal. Confident and self doubt free. I have concluded there is light at the end of the tunnel.
On a positive note > It is my moms birthday today. I got up at 5am and took her breakfast in bed at 6am with roses from the garden and Bayles and Harding bath gift set that I bought her. She seemed very pleased with all the gifts this morning from the family and so far I'm sure she is having a lovely morning.
Happy Birthday to you Mom. I love you!!!!!
